Broom Is A Third Wheel
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: When Minerva invited Max to dinner as friends, she hadn't exactly anticipated there being a third member at this get-together.


**Sorry, I accidentally posted the wrong doc at first for this! Here is the correct one.**

 **This is a gift drabble for jxllal-sass on Tumblr! Seriously, go check out her blog. It's fantastic, and she wrote me two CoLu drabbles! I hope you enjoy your thank you gift!**

 **This could be considered a part of Dark Sands-verse.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

Minerva Orlando peered over the top of her menu at her dinner partner. Across from the dark haired Territory Mage sat a scruffy looking man with sandy-blond hair and a goatee. Blithely, he whistled to himself as he perused the restaurant's entrees.

Biting her lip, the Sabertooth woman directed her attention to the other patrons in the crowded place. The looks she was receiving in turn varied from mild curiosity, to outright derision and... was that person laughing?

With a mental note as to that particular individual's facial features, the fearsome woman resolved to hunt them down later and teach them exactly why Sabertooth had been feared and worshiped as the top guild until Fairy Tail's return to glory.

Speaking of.

The Fairy she was dining with finally set his menu down and smiled at Minerva. "Have you decided what to get yet?" Max Alors inquired, smiling brightly at his companion.

His serene eyes catching a hold of hers over her menu, Minerva lowered the object in her hands. A small flush danced around her well-defined, high cheekbones. "Yes, I have," she responded with a calm she did not feel as her heart desperately tried to escape her rib cage.

Max beamed at her. "Wonderful! You know," he said, propping his elbow on the table, "it's been a while since you and I have been out and about together. So how have you been?"

"I have been alright," Minerva informed the Sand Mage curtly.

"Ah ha ha..." Max laughed weakly at the vague answer. "Um... are things at Sabertooth... normal, too, then?"

With an indelicate snort, Minerva replied, "If by 'things' and 'normal' you are referring to Rogue and _Master_ Sting... then yes. _Master_ Sting refuses to behave with the proper decorum befitting his title and position, while Rogue despairs and plots _Master_ Sting's untimely demise." She paused to take a sip of her water, the cool liquid sliding down her throat and chilling her overheating insides. "The plans are becoming increasingly obscene and outlandish. In fact, the whole guild has decided to turn it into a game of sorts."

Sweat slid down the back of Max's neck. "Really?"

"Yes. _Master_ Sting's reactions are proving a vast entertainment." A cruel smile touched Minerva's full lips. "Think of it as petty revenge for some of his more childish decisions." Like when he tried to organize a game day. Well. He'd gotten a game. It wasn't their fault that it was one he didn't care for.

"You still don't care for him as a Guild Master, I take it?"

Frowning, Minerva traced the water droplets beading on her glass with her fingertip. Adhering to each other, the water droplets clung to her finger. "I didn't say that, precisely," she said carefully. "My opinion of his attitude aside, he's a capable leader when it counts." Leaving off her contemplation of her glass, Minerva's dark eyes met Max's bright ones again. She shrugged. "He's fine, as a whole."

The Sand Mage smiled at this. He knew it was Minerva-speak for, "Only we get to tease and make fun of Sting. Anyone else who tries will be rendered into dust particles." It was becoming easier to understand her moods the more he came to know the Territory Mage. Also, it helped that she was starting to lose the sharp bite to the way she handled her interactions with other people.

"Um..." Minvera started, and then paused. Her flush from before returned with greater intensity. "I do have a question for you, actually."

Max perked up at this. "What is it?" Minerva was looking more cute than scary today, and it was making him a little nervous truth-be-told.

"Why..." Suddenly, Minerva sighed, and then pointed to the space beside Max. "Why did you bring... Broom with you tonight?"

Confused, Max threw a quick glance at Broom, propped up in the booth. Then he looked back at Minerva. "Is... is there something wrong with...?"

Minerva internally flailed for an answer that wouldn't make her sound jealous of an inanimate object. She had, after all, been hoping to spend some alone time with her favorite Fairy after all - oh dear gods above, what had the Fairies done to her that she was fully considering Broom a rival in her affections towards Max. Although, given some of the curve-balls magic had thrown at them in the past, she wouldn't actually be surprised if Broom was, in fact, alive and fully sentient. It would be just like Fairy Tail to have a intelligent life form dwelling amongst them in the form of a cleaning implement.

"Minerva?" Max questioned his friend as she zoned out for a moment.

Snapping back to attention, Minerva stuttered out, "N-nothing's wrong!" A pause, heavy with silence, settled between them. Quickly, before the awkwardness became unbearable, Minerva clarified, "I'm just curious, is all. About why Broom came with." Internally, she berated herself. Yup. She sounded completely jealous of a personified Broom. Sting would laugh at her if he could just see her sorry state now.

Max again threw a puzzled look at his long-time, inanimate friend. Receiving no response (he hadn't actually expected one), the Fairy Tail Mage regarded his much-newer, though no less beloved, friend. "Some kids tried to make off with Broom the other day, so I guess I'm a little paranoid that they'll try something while I'm away from the shop," Max admitted sheepishly.

The Territory Mage resolved to have a long, in-depth conversation with the local rugrats about valuing the possessions of others - even if Broom technically was (tentatively) a person in its own right.

Clearing her throat, Minerva gave Max the best smile she could muster. "How about, next time Broom comes with, I make the three of us dinner?" she offered. She wasn't going to try to remove Broom from their friendship - that wasn't going to happen and there would be little point in trying. But she could remove the strange three-way date from the public eye next time. The other patrons were still giving them strange looks, and her reputation as a mage still meant a great deal to Minerva.

What Minerva wasn't expecting was for Max to trip all over himself at her proposal. Turning crimson from the roots of his hair past the collar of his shirt, Max managed to stutter out, "T-t-that would be nice. Thank you."

Sensing a prime opportunity to tease him - and get something she wanted out of it in the bargain - Minerva leaned forward. With a smug smile, she said, "And next time, it will be a real date, not just a dinner between friends."

Leaning back, Minerva observed with reserved glee as Max's mental faculties ceased to function entirely.

"Sir, Madam, are you ready to order?" a waiter asked, having approached the table unbeknownst to the pair.

Minerva turned to face the restaurant employee with a brilliant smile. "Yes - I will be having the salmon piccata with roasted, seasonal vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes." With a glimmer of ferocious, malicious intent, she trained that same beatific expression upon the Sand Mage. "And you, Max?"

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Max couldn't seem to find it in him to respond. In fact, he had entirely forgotten what he'd planned to order.

"Sir?" questioned the waiter after a few moments spent in silence. "I could give you a few more minutes...?"

Gulping, Max shook his head. "Uh... no, I'm fine. Really. Um. I'll just... have what she's having."

"Very good, sir," the waiter replied, taking their menus.

Gaze returning to the gorgeous Sabertooth Mage, Max had the sinking feeling that Minerva was only getting started in her torture of him for the night.

He was correct.

But somehow he came out of it with a girlfriend, and the promise of a delicious home-cooked meal sometime in the near future.

So there was that.

* * *

 **Haha! I quite enjoyed writing this!**

 **Let me know what you guys think!**


End file.
